Near To You
by Silmarion
Summary: This isn't your everyday fairy tale. It isn’t the story of how one happy-go-lucky and beautiful girl single handedly rescues Sabaku No Gaara from his psychological prison and shows him how to love. This is the story of how Sabaku No Gaara saved me. GaaOc
1. The Decision

**Okay, I've finally done it. I've finally gotten up the courage to post something more than a oneshot for someone else's story! Hooray for me. **

**This story was inspired by the song 'Near To You' by A Fine Frenzy. I don't own Naruto or the song or any lyrics I may use. **

**Soooo um……yea I hope you enjoy it. **

This isn't your everyday fairytale. Nor is it that 'boy meets girl, love at first sight, let's grow old together' story that so many people wish for. This isn't the story of how one strong-willed, happy-go-lucky, extraordinarily powerful and beautiful girl single handedly rescues Sabaku No Gaara from his psychological prison and shows him how to love. But it is, nonetheless, a story about love. A love so fierce and unavoidable and at the same time so irrational and unobtainable. It's a story of pain and healing, angst and elation. This is the story of how _Sabaku No Gaara_ saved _me_.

I'd never been to Suna before. In fact, until very recently I had never set foot outside of the Leaf Village. The towering cliffs surrounding Suna loomed before me ominously. The thought of the watchmen who were stationed at the top sent shivers down my spine. It must be terrifying.

Of course, they were shinobi and feared nothing. I was just a simple civilian who couldn't even face her problems in Konoha so had to run from them to Suna.

Konoha.

My throat tightened as I remembered my old home. My family and friends who I had forced myself to leave.

They understood. They saw how difficult it was for me to pick up the pieces of my life and start over. No one was surprised when I finally snapped. They understood when I said I needed a change of scenery. What they couldn't understand was why I insisted on going alone.

They all demanded that I take at least one other person with me. But I knew that I needed to go alone. I was adamant on it.

Tsunade-sama helped me to persuade them once I revealed my plans to her. She understood my need to escape all too well. It was her who suggested that I make Suna my destination. She had said that it made the most sense due to the strong relationship between the two villages and the many ambassadors who traveled between them. After talking it over with my mother, I finally agreed.

Tsunade-sama began communications with the Hidden Sand Village almost immediately, arranging a place for me to stay and a job in order to provide some form of income.

I never asked why Suna and she never told. I felt she might have had some unknown motive but I trusted her advice and packed what of my belongings I could carry and started on my way.

Tsunade did insist on one thing. Because I lacked any shinobi skills, she thought it would be in my best interest for someone to escort me on my trip to Suna.

Shikamaru and I had been friends ever since he first started at the academy. Even at that age it had been clear that I would never possess the talent to become a ninja. So instead of enrolling me in the academy, my mother decided my life would be the stage.

So while other kids my age were heading to the academy to learn all about jutsus, I was busy running away from various vocal instructors my mother hired for me.

It was during one of these great escapes that I first ran into Shikamaru Nara. Well technically I suppose you could say that I ran _over_ Shikamaru Nara, seeing as he was, as usual, lying on the ground.

Since I wasn't attending the academy or training for a normal profession, I didn't have any friends my age. I often saw them playing together on the streets but my mother insisted that my music studies were far more important and would always promptly shove me into a room piled high with sheet music and my newest instructor.

So needless to say, I jumped at the chance of making a friend. I attached myself to Shikamaru every minute I could spare. And since he couldn't be bothered to try and shake me off, I was eventually able to meet all of his other friends from the academy.

Naruto and I hit it off immediately. While all the other students found him annoying and unbearable, I found his loud determination and loyalty inspiring. It was because of him that I finally stopped running from my teachers and began enjoying practicing.

As the years went by, we all grew strong in our various professions. I watched as the 9 rookie genin from my childhood shrank in number but grew exponentially in strength. Naruto had recently returned from his training with Jiraiya, stronger than ever. Shikamaru was now a jounin. Chouji, Ino, Kiba, Hinata, Shino and Sakura were all chuunin.

I had also grown. I had become somewhat of a local celebrity in the Leaf Village. More accurately, my _voice_ had become a celebrity. Nobody cared about the person behind the voice, just as long as she continued to create the music they craved. I was commissioned to sing at various festivals, concert events, and the occasional birthday party for important village leaders.

I found it all embarrassing but my mother loved every minute of it. If I could have had my way I would have simply stuck to the nightly performances at Jo's.

Kijo Kutsami, or Jo as his friends knew him, was the owner of Jo's Nighthawk, a popular bar in the center of downtown Konoha. He first discovered my voice when I was 11 years old and immediately offered me a job. At the start, I only came in on Friday and Saturday nights, sang for a few hours, and then went home.

Eventually people started demanding that I come earlier and stay later. So Jo hired me as a waitress in the bar and had me perform every night.

I sometimes wonder how my life would have been different if I'd never worked at Jo's.

I never would have met _him._ I never would have gotten into that _situation_. And I never would have had to leave my home and my friends and family to escape.

But I _did_ work at Jo's and I _did _meet _him_ and I _did_ have to escape. Which is why I was now standing before the towering walls of Suna, my new home, with one of my best friends at my side.

What did I get myself into?

**Alrighty! Well if anyone out there reads this and is intrigued or interested in where I may take this story then just go ahead and drop me a little review. Otherwise I won't know you exist and therefore won't possibly know that there is a reason for me to continue posting chapters.**

**And I would say that whole thing about no flames and such, but I'm always up for a good laugh. **

**Yours graciously,**

**Sil**


	2. The First Meeting

**So guess who decided to finish this up and get it posted instead of writing a paper that was due last week? Yea, that's right, it was me. So here's chapter 2 for Miss Kit (), who is mostly responsible for me finally getting the nerve to post my stories. **

**I don't own Naruto or the song Near To You or any other song lyrics that may be used in this story.**

My first thought was brown. Everything was brown. The sand was brown. The buildings were brown. Even the people were dressed in various shades of brown. The difference between my old home and my new home couldn't have been greater. Where Konoha had towering forests of green trees, meadows of flowers every color of the rainbow, and clear blue skies, Suna had brown tumbleweeds and brown sand. Even the sky had somehow taken on a brownish tint.

My second thought was relief. After days of trudging through forest, savanna and desert I had finally made it to my destination.

For a moment I simply stood frozen, staring at the village stretching out before me. It was hard to think of it as my new home.

Sensing my unease, Shikamaru reached over in an uncharacteristically thoughtful gesture and squeezed my hand, pulling me out of my stupor.

"I know it's a drag now but it'll work out. You'll be fine."

I couldn't help but smile and feel a little better at his words. Shikamaru always knew what to say to calm me down. His words were so simple but coming from him, it was hard not to believe them.

After one small hesitation I took a confident step forward. Shikamaru retracted his hand as he fell in step next to me.

I was immensely relieved when Tsunade announced who would be escorting me. As much as I loved Naruto, I was growing tired of his endless worrying, his constantly asking if I was okay, his sidelong glances and concerned frowns. I know that he just cared about me but it always made me feel like I was a porcelain doll that everyone was afraid would break.

Shikamaru wasn't like that. He was quietly comforting and encouraging, never once getting frustrated with me during the trip for being slow and never feeling the need to fill silence with useless chatter. The trip had its share of small conversations, but for the most part the two of us walked in a very comfortable silence.

We continued walking in silence until we reached what I assumed was the Kazekage's tower. It was difficult to tell, as it looked much like every other building in Suna, just exponentially larger.

Shikamaru led me into the building, through a small hallway and into a sparsely decorated waiting room. The receptionist sitting behind the desk looked up expectantly upon hearing the door swing shut, her face falling with a slight scowl once she saw Shikamaru and I. I heard Shikamaru sigh next to me.

With a confused glance at my companion we began to approach the now grumpy looking woman.

"What is it this time?" she snapped, glaring daggers at Shikamaru. "Have you come to get me fired because you couldn't finish the job last time?"

I was completely shocked at the girl's question. I couldn't imagine Shikamaru ever doing anything to deserve such a rude greeting. He was only ever a gentleman to me. Sure, he was lazy but that was no reason to be impolite.

But Shikamaru just sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"Look, we're just here to see the Kazekage. Tsunade sent word that we were coming so don't pretend like you weren't expecting us."

The receptionist stared Shikamaru down for a few more seconds before finally giving in with a sigh.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped like that but I'm sure that you know the effect you have on…certain members of this office. But if you're just seeing the Kazekage I'm sure it will be fine. He's free now. You know your way to his office?"

I listened in utter confusion to what was passing in front of me. But Shikamaru simply nodded to her and began walking towards a doorway slightly behind the receptionist's desk.

Shaking myself out of my stupor I ran to catch up with him before he disappeared.

"I don't want to talk about it," Shikamaru firmly stated before I could even get the questions out of my mouth.

Although I deeply wanted to pester him until I got my answers, I knew that it was never a good idea to push Shikamaru when he was in a bad mood. So I simply smiled and filed the encounter in the back of my head to pull out at a later date.

We walked. We walked for 15 minutes. Through countless doors and up staircases and down so many hallways that I began to think Shikamaru really didn't know his way to the office. However, when I tried to ask him all I got was a scathing look and yet another sigh. After 5 more minutes he finally stopped.

The door in front of us was not what I expected for the Kazekage's office. There was nothing about it that implied it would hide someone important, let alone the man who ruled over Sunagakure. The door was, in fact, just as plain as all the other doors along the hallway and really the only thing extraordinary about it was how very ordinary it was.

I started to get nervous as Shikamaru reached to knock on the door. I tried to hide my shiver but he saw. His hand changed course and settled on my shoulder as he turned me to face him.

"Sayuri, look at me."

I unwillingly brought my eyes up to meet his. They were filled with concern.

"Are you sure you want to do this Sayuri?"

I tensed at his words and the demanding tone his voice had taken. I took a deep breath and slowly released it, closing my eyes.

"I have to do this," I finally answered, my eyes still closed. Shikamaru was silent for a moment before removing his hand from my shoulder and bringing it back to knock sharply three times on the boring door.

My eyes snapped open again when I heard the voice on the other side of the door, calling for us to enter. Squaring my shoulders, I nodded to Shikamaru to open the door.

I had seen Sabaku No Gaara when he came to Konoha for the notorious chuunin exams and I knew from Naruto that he was now the Kazekage of Suna. I knew that, despite his past, he had reformed and now held little of his former self. And I also knew that he no longer held the demon that had tormented him for so much of his life.

But even though I knew all of this, I was still terrified of what was on the other side of the door.

Sabaku No Gaara sat behind his desk surrounded by mountains of paperwork. He wore a blue and white robe similar to the red and white one Tsunade wore for special occasions. He still had the same mess of vibrant red hair that I remembered with a shiver.

But that was the extent of what I could see because, although we had entered the room, he never lifted his head from the paper before him. He didn't even acknowledge our existence until Shikamaru cleared his throat.

"I was asked by Hokage-sama to deliver this one safely here and see that she gets settled," he explained.

The Kazekage simply nodded, still not looking up, and began sifting through one of the towering piles on his desk. Only once he had found what he was looking for did he finally raise his eyes to look at the pair standing in front of him: Shikamaru boredly examining the ceiling and me nervously fidgeting.

His gaze landed and stuck on me.

"_Ah yes,"_ I thought to myself as I held back a shiver, _"I had forgotten what his eyes can do to a person."_

It was uncanny how just a simple look from those dark rimmed, sea foam eyes could freeze a person's insides up. But I couldn't help but notice that there was something different about those eyes. There was something that was not there the last time I had encountered him. I couldn't figure out what it was but I was glad for it.

"This is Sayuri Igawa. I believe Hokage-sama sent a scroll ahead of us informing you of the circumstances."

I tore my eyes away from his unwavering gaze to study my feet as Shikamaru began explaining the details of the situation. The scroll Lady Tsunade sent had been very vague, saying only that I wished to relocate due to personal issues. However, we did agree that it would be best to tell the Kazekage everything when I arrived. Shikamaru, after hours of me begging, said he would be the one to talk. Other than my mother, Lady Tsunade and Naruto, Shikamaru was the only one to know all the details of my situation.

"_And now the Kazekage knows too," _I thought to myself as I felt my cheeks grow hotter and hotter with each word out of Shikamaru's mouth.

I glanced up quickly at the Kazekage to see his reaction, only to find his gaze still locked on me. His eyes were narrowed and he now had a slight frown on his previously impassive face.

His reaction puzzled me. The four people who knew my story reacted with pity. The rest of Konoha, who only knew one part of the story, gave me disapproving glances on the street. Those looks I was used to, those I could handle.

But I wasn't prepared for the rage that I saw brewing in the young leader's eyes as he continued to stare me down.

"_He's probably annoyed that someone as pathetic as me would even dare to ask for his help."_

I knew that I was pathetic. I had been told that so frequently that it was engraved intomy subconscious.

But most people pitied me for that. They didn't look at me with the barely restrained flashes of anger I was receiving from the Kazekage.

When Shikamaru finally stopped talking the redhead continued to stare at me for a minute, the anger slowly retreating. After some time he finally nodded and looked down at the paper he had earlier retrieved.

"It says here that you sing for a living. Is that correct?"

"Yes Kazekage-sama," I quietly confirmed. "I worked as a singer and waitress for a popular bar in Konoha."

After a few more minutes of searching through papers, he unearthed yet another form and began to examine it.

"You will work at Izakaya for now. It is a local bar and they have been looking for an extra waitress. There is one open apartment in a building close to Izakaya with a reasonable rent. You may inspect it if you wish before signing a lease. However, I can guarantee that it is both conveniently located and high quality for its price."

I assured him that whatever condition the apartment was in, I would take it as long it contained a bed and a shower.

He simply nodded again.

"Then if you sign these forms I will let you go for now. I am granting you temporary citizenship, which will last 6 months and in that time give you all the privileges of a permanent citizen. At the end of those 6 months you will have to option of deciding whether to stay in Suna as a permanent citizen, returning to Konoha or moving on to another city."

"Thank you Kazekage-sama," I bowed slightly before approaching the desk and signing the papers, without so much as a glance at the content. For all I knew I was signing away my soul for a package of pretzels. But I wasn't worried.

"_Something tells me that I can trust this man."_

I immediately shied away from that thought. Trust is a dangerous thing. It was better not to trust anyone because that way I wouldn't get hurt again.

But even after reminding myself of that, I didn't read the papers. I simply bowed again and, after receiving a paper with the keys and location of my new apartment and job, turned and walked out the door followed by Shikamaru.

**So, I know that things are kind of lame and cliche right now but hopefully it'll improve in coming chapters. **

**And because I am most likely going to get hell from my professor tomorrow for not finishing that paper, you should probably review if you like the story to make me feel better. Just a suggestion.**

**-Sil**


	3. Moving On

**I don't own Naruto or the songs Near To You by A Fine Frenzy and I'm Moving On by Rascal Flatts.**

The apartment was nice. It wasn't anything to write home about but it was still nice. It was small and simple but nice.

It didn't take me long to get settled in. I barely brought anything with me, by my mother's encouragement. She was convinced that leaving the majority of my belongings back in Konoha would give me incentive to go home more often.

This new apartment couldn't have been more different from the one I left behind in Konoha. The walls were bare with the exception of the light brown paint and the small round windows every 7 or 8 feet. It was already furnished with simple, sturdy furniture. The 4 chairs around the small kitchen table were all mismatched and the carpet was old and worn. There was a small kitchenette complete with a stove, refrigerator, microwave and sink, all small and crammed in the corner.

Small seemed to be the best word to describe the apartment as a whole. But small wasn't necessarily bad and I wouldn't need much room. It was cozy and clean and the location was prime.

It wasn't until I walked into my bedroom that I found the first thing in the apartment that was not small. The bed, closet, wardrobe and desk were all miniature, like the majority of the apartment. But directly across from the doorway where I stood, light was flooding through an enormous window, taking up almost half of the wall.

Upon approaching the window I looked out to see the bustling streets of downtown Suna three stories below me.

My apartment was on the top floor of the little complex. According to the landlord, the building was relatively new. While all the apartments on the first two floors had already been taken, I would be the first inhabitant on the third. I hoped I could look forward to a few weeks of peace and quiet before the rest of the floor was filled, but I knew the chances were slim.

Tearing myself away from the window, I went back into the main room where Shikamaru had begun unpacking my few possessions for me. He looked up at me expectantly when I entered.

"I like it," I nodded, picking up one of my bags and setting it by the doorway to my room. I would take care of those things later.

"I think this is going to great. Suna seems like a fantastic place."

Shikamaru stopped in the process of unloading the bag filled with cooking pots and pans into a cabinet and leaned on the counter behind him. He hadn't been fooled by my falsely cheery voice.

"Sayuri, what are you doing? I know you were having a hard time but that's no reason to leave. I can see how difficult it is for you right now. You don't have to do this. Konoha is your home."

I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch, thinking through the words that I was about to say.

"Shikamaru, for so long I've been trapped in my past, not able to get away from it. It was like a heavy burden that I could never put down. I always had a constant reminder of things that I never wanted to remember. You're right. Konoha is my home. I've lived there my entire life and I know everyone's face. And while each face is different, they always look at me the same way. To them I'm just that girl who used to be a star but fell hard. And as long as they keep thinking of me like that, I'll never be allowed to change."

During my rant Shikamaru had moved into the main room and was sitting next to me on the couch. I had my eyes glued to my hands in my lap, carefully watching him out of the corner of my eye.

"So yes, Konoha was my home. I just never dreamed that home would end up being where I don't belong. So you want to know, Shikamaru, what I'm doing?"

My speech was giving me confidence and I finally brought myself to look him right in the eye.

"I'm moving on."

**I'm sorry that it took so long to get such a short chapter out but I'm having a shitty day and I thought that I would maybe feel a little better if I could just get this out. **


	4. Meeting the Boss

**Alrighty, so here is the next chapter (finally)! I've been feeling really bad for not updating lately so I decided to work late-ish into the night so that I could post this. I know, I'm just so generous. **

**So, um...yea I don't own Naruto or the song Near to You or any other songs that I may use in this story. Because if I did, you could bet your bippy that I'd drop out of college and use my fortunes to travel all over the world.**

The moment I stepped into Izakaya I knew that working there would be nothing like Jo's Nighthawk.

Jo's was undoubtedly the most popular hangout in Konoha. By day it was a bright and bustling restaurant with some of best food in the village. By night it turned into a wild retreat for civilians and shinobi alike to mingle and socialize. The entire place was always spotlessly clean and Jo prided himself with the fact that a fight had never broken out in his bar. The very atmosphere of the building seemed to forbid it so strongly that even patrons of less than questionable sobriety knew that if they wanted to turn to violence, they best take their business elsewhere. Jo was a no-nonsense kind of man and was perfectly capable of putting an end to any behavior he found unacceptable.

Izakaya was something else altogether. Even in broad daylight the entire place was dim and slightly dingy. The plain tan walls were decorated only with the occasional crack running down from the ceiling and the tables were all stained and chipped from years of abuse. Much like in my new apartment, the wooden chairs surrounding the table were all plain and mismatched. It struck me as odd that there could possibly be so many different designs and patterns for such shabby furniture. As I took a step in I noticed with a grimace that the floors were slightly sticky.

But despite it's mangy appearance, there was something about the place that instantly soothed me. It seemed like a place where nothing bad could ever happen. The moment you walk through the doors the outside world no longer mattered. Whatever hardships or troubles you were having ceased to exist for that short amount of time.

Even after months of working in Izakaya I could never quite say what exactly it was about the bar that made it seem so secluded from the outside world, but I think it's safe to say that I knew right away I would love working there.

Taking a seat at one of the barstools, I turned around to examine the room again. There was a small platform in the far corner that I assumed was for some sort of performances. I wondered if I would ever perform up there.

"So you must be my new recruit."

I spun around to face whoever had spoken and found myself face to face with a young woman.

My first thought was a flash of jealousy as I took in the girl leaning across the bar from me. She was undeniably beautiful.

Her straight black hair fell down to her waist in a loose ponytail with a few shorter locks hanging around her face like a frame. A few stray strands fell across her forehead, hiding one of her deep, chestnut colored eyes, providing a stunning contrast to her porcelain skin. She was wearing a simple white tank top with black shorts and brown fingerless gloves on her hands.

Everything about her appearance, from her simple attire to her relaxed posture, spoke of a woman who never gave her looks a second thought. She was beautiful she just didn't care.

"Sorry if I startled you," she smiled slightly before extending her hand across the bar to me. "I'm Mizuki Mitsukai. I own Izakaya and bartend most nights. Are you the new worker Kazekage-sama assigned to me?"

I tentatively shook her hand, shocked to hear that she owned this bar. She couldn't have been more than a couple of years older than me and she was already running her own business. It was difficult not to be impressed.

"Yes, that's me. I'm Sayuri Igawa. It's a pleasure to meet you Mitsukai-san."

Amusement lit up the other girl's face as she let out a small laugh.

"Please, call me Mizu. We'll be working together now so let's not have any of that honorific crap."

I shyly returned her grin as she agilely vaulted over the bar to stand next to me.

"You have no idea how happy I am to finally get some help around here. Naomi is a wonderful cook but I just cannot trust her with customers. Last time I let her serve tables she sent one of my regulars to the hospital with two black eyes and a dislocated shoulder because he tried to pinch her butt."

My eyes grew wide, wondering who this Naomi was and making a mental note to get on her good side immediately. Mizu didn't even seem to notice my hesitation as she continued to chatter on.

"I sent that request to the Kazekage weeks ago but you're the only help I've received so far. I was beginning to think that Gaara-sama was just being an ass, like usual, but I see now that I was wrong. I think he was just being really particular about who he let fill this spot. It's nice to know you've received his stamp of approval."

I honestly did not understand even half of what she said to me, and chose to simply smile and nod with the hope that I wouldn't make myself look like too much of a fool.

"Now, I wonder what made him choose you," Mizu murmured, as she casually looked me over. "You're definitely attractive enough but I've never known the Kazekage to be won over by a pretty face alone."

Pretty face? I had no clue what this girl was going on about. She didn't seem to notice my confused expression and embarrassed attempts to interject.

"Eh, no matter. I guess it's not really important now, as long as you can wait tables. You _can_ wait tables, right?"

There was nothing I could do except nod, still bewildered.

"Perfect! Then you'll be starting tomorrow night. I'll let you have one more night to settle in before we throw you in here. We're usually open during the day but I can handle that on my own. Business starts picking up a little before sunset so try to be here by 5:00. Any questions? No? Good. Now go on home, get rested up and tomorrow you'll show me what you got!"

With that she turned, jumped back over the bar and disappeared through a door in the corner, leaving me to wonder what I had gotten myself into.

**So I realize that this is kind of another short one but I'm really working on limited brain power right now (word of advice: Don't get a job at a bakery if you don't enjoy waking up at 5:30 every morning). **

**And I know! I know that the overall level of Gaara-ness in this story is pathetically low right now. You're just going to have to trust me when I say that it won't last forever. **

**And lastly, whoever can correctly guess who I've modeled the character Mizuki Mitsukai after gets a very special, secret gift from me (SPOILER ALERT: It's a hug). It's probably fairly easy, but I will tell you that she is not from Naruto. **

**Alright, enough of these mad ramblings! If you have the time and want to drop me a little review, that would make me one super stoked girl. Just sayin'...it's an option.**

**-Sil**


	5. The Voice?

**Hello all! So I know that I told a few of my lovely readers that I'd try to get this out about 2 weeks ago, but life is what it is. At any rate, since I'm currently on break I found this to be the perfect time to get this chapter completed and posted and also to get started on the next chapter. Who knows? Maybe if I get into a writing frenzy I'll get the next chapter up before I go back on Sunday. Maybe. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any songs that I may use in this story. **

Like so many things in my life, my first day of work did not go as well as I'd hoped.

It started out fine. I was actually surprised at how easy it was to fall back into the pattern. Despite my apprehensive first impression, I was quickly beginning to love working with Mizuki. It was difficult not to. Her cheery attitude and consistent kindness made her the type of person that anyone could easily get along with.

I also met Naomi, the cook, whom Mizuki warned had quite the mean streak. After hearing Mizuki's description of how Naomi had dislocated a patron's shoulder, I had her pictured as a big, strong woman with bulking muscles. Needless to say, I was shocked at what I saw.

Much like Mizuki, Naomi couldn't have been much older than me. She was, however, probably a good 10 inches shorter than me and impressively scrawny.

At first I couldn't understand how the picture I had painted after Mizuki's warning could possibly fit this girl. Naomi first greeted me with a cheerful smile and a warm handshake when Mizuki introduced us.

"It's wonderful to have a new addition to our team. I'm sure you'll fit in just perfectly! Oh, I better go check on the bread. It should be ready to come out of the oven."

With a small giggle she bustled back into the kitchen, leaving me thinking how wrong I was about her. Seconds later I heard a crashing sound as what I presumed to be the loaves of bread, accompanied by the stones they were baking on, where thrown across the kitchen to crash against the far wall.

"God damn this damn oven! You burn my damn hand again and I'll break you to damn pieces!"

I was no longer confused and once again made a mental note to never get on her bad side.

"Well at least there weren't any costumers around this time!" Mizuki laughed from behind the bar. "Although I think most of the regulars are probably used to her…colorful exclamations."

There was the sound of the door swinging open and I turned just in time to see an elderly man, probably in his late 50s, walk through the door. He glanced around quickly, pausing on me for a second in confusion, and landed on Mizuki.

With a short nod he silently crossed the room and took a stool at the end of the bar.

"Good evening, Kiyoshi. What'll it be tonight? The usual?"

The grey-haired man replied with a grunt and nod and Mizuki quickly went to prepare his drink.

Slowly customers began to trickle in, filling up the seats at the bar and some of the tables around the room.

Fortunately, none of my customers wanted any food. I was not keen to enter the kitchen anytime soon. The memory of the earlier incident was still fresh in my mind and, although I hadn't heard anything from the kitchen since, I didn't want to do anything that might set her off again.

I couldn't say what happened. One minute I was doing just fine, falling easily back into the flow of waitressing, socializing with customers and laughing with Mizuki.

The next thing I know I'd regressed back to the pitiful, sniveling girl from my past.

I was having a particularly nice time with a group of three men sitting at a table right by the bar. They were all young shinobi, just back from a mission and glad to be home. They drank to celebrate but didn't overdo it. As shinobi of the Sand they knew that they needed to be prepared for battle at any moment, and therefore could not afford to let their guards down too much.

Despite that, they were thoroughly enjoying being able to spend the night of with their friends and constantly giving each other a hard time. It seemed like they were having an unspoken competition to see who could gain my affections. Each time I came to their table one of them would attempt to woo me in some way or another.

Some of their methods were poetic (The glimmer of your eyes reminds me of the sparkle of a blood-spattered kunai in the moonlight) and some of them were not (I was sent to kill you but how about a quickie first?). And after each failed attempt I would return to the bar and have a good laugh with Mizuki.

It was during one of these rendezvous that a new patron entered the bar. Mizuki and I had been laughing over a particularly shameful pickup line and so I failed to see him until he sat down at the bar just two feet from where I leaned.

"Sake and a menu please."

I froze.

That voice. But it couldn't be. Not _that_ voice.

I risked a glance over at the man as Mizuki hurried to get the drink.

Dark hair. The same dark hair as I remembered.

My breath caught in my throat.

He turned to look at me and I saw a flash of green eyes. The same. They were exactly the same.

I could feel myself trembling as I struggled to maintain control of my senses. Why was he here? How long had he been here? What was I supposed to do?

"Miss, are you alright?"

Wait. Something about that wasn't right.

"Sayuri, what's wrong?"

Mizuki had returned with a menu and some sake for the man.

"Hey. What's up? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I just looked over at her and she was trembling. I don't know what happened."

The man's voice was coated with concern.

Concern?

No. That wasn't right at all. _He_ never let his emotions show. Not even in his voice. Was I wrong?

Taking a deep breath I finally turned to look at the man next to me.

His hair _was_ dark and his eyes _were _green.

But taking a closer look I could see that this man's hair was more of a dark, rich brown, while _his_ had been inky black. And although this man's eyes were just as green as _his_, they were flecked with bits of brown and held all the emotions that _he_ always shut out.

I had been wrong. I had panicked over nothing.

"I…I'm sorry. I just…"

And suddenly I needed to leave. I couldn't be there anymore. I couldn't be around all of those smiling, laughing, happy people. I had to leave.

"I'm sorry Mizuki, but I need to go."

I stayed long enough to see her briefly nod, alarm painted on her face, and dashed across the bar, out the door and into the cool, quiet night.

**I'm going to make a promise to you all. Gaara **_**will**_** be in the next chapter. You have my word. **

**I'm feeling like there was something else fairly important that I was going to tag on at the end here but since my brain is failing me at the moment I guess it will have to wait. **

**I sure would appreciate it if you wonderful people would leave me a teensy little review to give me some motivation to start on the next chapter. **

**-Sil**


	6. Realizations

I didn't even make it back to my apartment. I didn't make it back because about twenty paces from the building I realized something.

I was completely alone. I had never been alone in my entire life, but here, in Suna, I was alone. If I were to walk the rest of the way to my apartment building and climb up all those flights of stairs, I would find an empty apartment. I wouldn't find my scatterbrained mother or the hyperactive Naruto. I wouldn't even find Shikamaru anymore.

I would find nothing and no one to welcome me and comfort me. Just empty rooms.

And I realized that I couldn't be alone. I needed to have someone there for me in my life. I needed someone like Naruto, to have my back and protect me. Or someone like Sakura, who would listen to my petty issues and tell me that I wasn't being ridiculous. Or Shikamaru, who I could spend hours watching the clouds with in complete, comfortable silence.

And I realized what I'd given up when I left Konoha.

Suddenly I felt very sick. I stumbled over to the nearest building and sank down to the ground with my back against the wall.

How could I have been so naïve? I thought that I was better. I thought I was stronger than that, but one voice and pair of green eyes was enough to send me back to the weak little girl that I used to be.

I couldn't stay in Suna. I thought I was strong enough to live on my own but I wasn't. I was pathetic and weak. I was so, so weak.

I needed to go back up to my apartment and start packing. I needed to get back to Konoha as soon as possible. I realized how much I'd begun to hate Suna even after just a couple of days.

Konoha was green.

Green trees, green pastures, fields full of flowers, green and white and yellow and any other color you could imagine. Konoha was living, thriving, breathing, blooming. Konoha was where I belonged.

Suna was brown.

Brown sand, brown rocks, brown buildings. Everything was brown, dry, lifeless, still. I would never find a place for myself in such a dull, jaded place. There was nothing beautiful about Suna. It was a desolate wasteland.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the building behind me. The sun had long since sunk behind the rocky cliffs surrounding the village. Without that burning orb, it was beginning to be unbearably cold. But I still couldn't bring myself to go back to my apartment that would be just as unbearably cold.

"_Just a few more minutes,"_ I told myself, still leaning against the wall. _"I'll go and start to pack my things and then tomorrow I can be on my way back to Konoha. I just need few more minutes to think."_

"Igawa-san?"

"_Why? Is it too much to ask for just a few minutes to myself? Who did I piss off up there?"_

"Igawa-san."

My eyes drifted open to see who was talking to me.

It was a fairly dark night, the moon being mostly hidden by clouds, so it was difficult to make out the features of the figure towering over me. But I caught a glimpse of red, and that was enough.

"Kazekage-sama!" I gasped, attempting to scramble to my feet. "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize—"

"Don't worry. You may sit."

I stared up at him in alarm from my awkward half-crouch before slowly nodding and lowering back to the ground.

I was even more shocked when the Kazekage gracefully sank to the ground next to me, resting his back against the wall on the right of me.

I fidgeted nervously, staring at my hands, as we sat in silence for what seemed like ages. I was never the type of person who felt the need to fill every second with chatter. I liked quiet. It was soothing and gave me time to reflect on whatever events were prominent in my life.

But sitting next to the Kazekage, in complete silence, on a deserted, dark street had my nerves doing backflips.

"_Well it's no wonder, really. From what I remember of the Chuunin exams, I should be terrified. I know Naruto said that he was different now, but he still has such an commanding presence."_

"I trust you are settling well?"

I hadn't been expecting him to break the silence. My head flew up to look at him. Unfortunately, I was so on edge that my head slammed against the wall with an embarrassingly loud 'thunk'.

"Are you alright?"

There was something in the Kazekage's tone that made me look at him. From this proximity it was much easier to make out his features. The question was innocent enough and his eyes seemed genuinely concerned. But there was a tiny lift at the corners of his mouth that spoke volumes.

He was laughing at me.

"I'm fine. Just thoroughly embarrassed."

I had to look back down at my hands to hide the blush that was spreading across my cheeks.

"What—um…what was your question again?"

I was starting to sound like a bumbling fool. But the whole situation was so bizarre to me that I couldn't quite figure out how to handle it all.

"I asked if you were settling in alright."

"Oh, right. That."

We once again sat in silence as he waited for me to continue.

I didn't want to tell him my problems. I didn't want him to know how weak I was. I didn't want him to know that I couldn't even go one week on my own. I wanted to say that everything was great and that I was doing perfectly fantastic.

I had the lie on deck, ready to convince him that I was not the coward that I knew I really was.

But once I looked into his eyes, I immediately forgot my lie. And for some, unexplainable reason, I found myself telling him the truth.

"I guess I'm not doing so well," I admitted.

A small frown and slight tilt of the head was all the response I got. But I understood perfectly what it meant: "Go on. I'm listening."

"I guess I just never realized how much I had in Konoha. I've just been thinking lately about all the bad things there and I forgot about the good. I miss my mother and friends. I miss how beautiful Konoha is. I didn't realize how beautiful it is until I left."

The Kazekage nodded slightly before tilting his head back to stare at something in the sky. I took this opportunity to do a quick once-over of him.

He was sitting about a foot and a half away from me. I was happy for the distance. I had nothing against him in particular, but any closer would have begun to invade my comfort zone. He was still wearing his robes so I could only guess that he had just come from his office.

"Kazekage-sama…well forgive me for asking, but what are you doing here anyway?"

He briefly glanced at me from the corner of his eyes before once again turning his gaze skywards. He seemed slightly reluctant to answer and didn't speak for a full minute.

"I wanted to make sure you were settling in well," he finally replied.

"Oh, okay" was my genius response. Then something occurred to me. "Is this something you do with every new citizen of Suna?"

He once again looked at me from the corner of his eyes, this time maintaining his gaze.

"Not…exactly," he admitted after some time.

He seemed to be debating with himself over something and my curiosity was instantly peaked. But I didn't push him. Finally, he continued.

"I received a message from Naruto."

I immediately felt a blush spring to my cheeks.

"He asked you to check up on me."

He knew I wouldn't be able to handle being on my own. He knew better than I did. I really did need to get back to Konoha. Back where people knew me and could take care of me.

"I believe he was worried about your wellbeing."

I simply nodded. There was nothing else to say. We continued to sit in silence for another minute before I finally decided that it was time for me to return to my apartment.

"Well you don't have to worry about replying to his message," I said, getting to my feet. "I can tell him myself soon enough. I plan on returning to Konoha as soon as I have packed again. It's where I belong. I'm sorry for wasting your time with all of this. I'll try to be out of your hair again as soon as possible."

During my rant, the Kazekage had gracefully risen to his feet. A shiver ran down my spine and I couldn't tell if it was because of the chill of the night or the piercing gaze he had trained on me.

"Perhaps, Igawa-san, it wouldn't be a bad idea to give Suna a little more time. Konoha truly is a beautiful place. But there is just as much beauty here, if you know where to look."

With that, he once again looked up at the sky and this time, I followed his gaze.

I had seen stars before. I looked at the night sky with Shikamaru and Naruto all the time back in Konoha. I never really understood the draw though. One sky was much like the next. But the Konoha sky was nothing compared to what I was seeing now.

Sometime during our conversation the clouds hiding the moon had disappeared, leaving not even a trace of the cover they once provided.

The moon was so _bright_. And the stars. The stars were all just as bright. And there were so _many_ of them. It was breathtaking.

I suddenly felt very, very small and insignificant as I lost myself in the magnificence above me.

"Give it time, Igawa-san. You will find your place here."

My eyes snapped back to him as he turned and began walking away. I didn't know why he was being so nice to me, but I was incredibly thankful.

"Thank you, Kazekage-sama."

He stopped and looked at me over his shoulder.

"Gaara."

"I'm sorry?" I asked, not quite getting what he meant.

"Call me Gaara," he replied and once again began walking away.

I watched his retreating back for some time, in shock from his last statement and our entire conversation in general. Finally, I smiled slightly as he was swallowed by the darkness.

"Thank you, Gaara."

Somehow, I knew he heard me.

**Whew, that certainly was a doozy. **

**This is kind of random, but I actually just got back from a drag show my campus's Alliance organization was putting on for V-week (P.S., if you don't know about the V-Day campaign, I strongly suggest that you look into. To me, it's among the most impacting organizations I've ever encountered). Anyway, for some inexplicable reason, seeing all those dazzling queens up there on stage lip-synching to Lady Gaga and shaking their groove thing inspired me to finish this chapter. Yeah…I don't know either.**

**I'm sorry I didn't get this done and out earlier. I got a good start on it while I was still on break, but then once I got back to school I was involved with the Vagina Monologues (awesome show) and with that, on top of papers and such, I didn't have much time to write anymore. But we had our last performance this afternoon so that's all out of the way.**

**I know that this was a kind of uneventful debut of the whole Sayuri/Gaara business and all. Sorry about that. I'm working on it. **

**Anyway, let me know what you think!**

**Peace,**

**Sil**


	7. A Story

**I don't own Naruto or the song Near To You by A Fine Frenzy.**

The next day I went in to work early. After running out on Mizuki on my first night, I felt that she deserved some sort of explanation.

The entire way to the bar I was nervous, trying to decide how much I could tell her. The second I stepped through the doorway, I once again felt the calming effect that the dingy building had. Mizuki was standing at the bar polishing a row of glasses and humming quietly to herself.

She looked up at hearing the door swing shut behind me and I was surprised at the warm smile that spread across her face.

"Good morning, Sayuri. I hope you're feeling better."

I could plainly see the concern in her eyes. She wasn't just saying this to be polite. She genuinely cared and I was once again shocked at how thoughtful she was.

"Thanks. I feel much better today."

She nodded for a minute, trying to decide if I was telling the truth, and then grabbed another cloth and tossed it to me.

I have never claimed to be a coordinated person. In fact, the main reason I could never become a shinobi was because I had the dexterity of a blind elephant. So it came as no surprise to me when I missed catching the cloth by a good two feet, managed to trip over one of the chairs sticking out from a table and just barely managed to halfway catch myself by grabbing onto the bar.

"Well," Mizuki began, pausing in what I can only assume was an attempt to hold in her laughter, "that certainly was graceful."

"I know," I mumbled to myself as I bent to pick up the cloth from the floor, unwilling to look my boss after my embarrassing display.

"Maybe next time I'll just hand it to you. It's a good thing we started with something unbreakable. We'll have to start small so that we can work up to the bottles and glasses."

My eyes widened at the thought of having a bottle full of alcohol thrown at me. There is no way I would ever be able to catch something like that. Upon seeing my horrified expression, Mizuki finally lost her control. A small giggle escaped past her lips before she could stifle it and I frowned slightly.

"Don't worry Yuri, I'm just messing with you."

I couldn't help but smile at the nickname as I grabbed a glass and plopped down on a barstool to begin polishing. Back in Konoha, Naruto always called me Yuri.

We worked for a few minutes in companionable silence. I had only known Mizuki a couple of days but I already felt like I'd known her my whole life. It was impossible not to like her.

Our peace was interrupted a few minutes later by the arrival of Naomi.

"God damn it! Why can't those damn parasites realize that I don't want to buy any of their stupid arts and crafts? Get a real a real job you little fu—Oh hello Sayuri! I didn't realize you were here. I hope you're well today."

It was going to take time to become accustomed to the small woman's mood swings. How so much rage could fit in such a tiny body was beyond me.

Having been temporarily distracted from anger, I knew that I didn't want to be the one to bring it back out. I quickly smiled and answered that I was feeling very well.

She cheerfully replied how relieved she was that I was fine and bustled into the kitchen without another word.

I glanced over at Mizuki to see her shaking her head with a small smile.

"After ten years, she still never ceases to amuse me."

"Ten years? You two have known each other for that long?"

"Yep. She's Naomi has been my friend since we were little girls."

I was having difficulty picturing this. The two women were almost complete opposites. Where Mizuki was always calm and caring, Naomi was an emotion-driven battle-axe.

Mizuki seemed to notice my confusion because she gave a small chuckle before going on.

"And now you're wondering how the two of us could possibly be friends our differences."

"Well…yes I am," I laughed nervously.

"There's more to her than meets the eye at first," Mizuki explained. "She may seem volatile and angry but she's one of the most compassionate people I've ever met. There is nothing she wouldn't do for her friends. I know that she's gotten me through plenty difficult times."

There was just a hint of sadness written across Mizuki's features as she, no doubt, remembered those difficult times she had referred to. But she said nothing more and we once again sunk into silence.

I was suddenly struck with the similarity between my new boss and my blonde friend back in Konoha. They were both completely selfless, placing their friends before themselves and only seeing the good in people, no matter how hidden it may be.

I looked up at my boss as she continued polishing the next glass, resuming her humming. An idea began to form in my mind.

"Mizuki, do you have a boyfriend?"

She paused for a moment, glancing over at me briefly before continuing her work.

"Sorry Yuri, you seem like a nice girl but I'm not sure you're my type. "

I smiled slightly and shook my head with a small laugh.

"Not for me. I was actually thinking of a friend back home."

"I see," she murmured quietly, returning my smile. "Well if that's the case, no. I am not currently seeing anyone."

She made an effort to maintain her usual carefree air, but I could sense another emotion trying to fight its way out. I realized how careless my question had been. I didn't know her history and I should have known that a query like that could bring unpleasant memories to the surface.

"I'm sorry. That was rude of me. I shouldn't have pried into your personal life."

Mizuki set down her glass and shook her head.

"It isn't a problem. You couldn't have known," she seemed to consider me a moment before going on. "His name was Arashi. We lived next to each other and I'd known him my entire life."

I set down the last glass and leaned against the bar, listening intently to her story.

"It started out as a crush when I was four. At the time, he was my best friend in the world. We spent practically every hour of everyday together. He was always shy and quiet, but his mother said that it was okay. I talked enough for the both of us."

Her face had softened as she spoke and now held a light smile as she reminisced.

"He went into the ninja academy when he was eight. I wanted to go with him, but after my mom died, my father refused to let me do anything he considered dangerous. And becoming a ninja was on the top of his list of dangers. Arashi and I still spent as much time together as we could. Over the years, my crush had only grown and strengthened. I met him everyday when he was finished at the academy and we walked home together. I always babbled on about my boring day and sometimes managed to pry out some information about his day."

Suddenly her expression changed as the corners of her smile tugged down slightly in a frown.

"He met Ayame when we were about twelve. One day when I was waiting for him to get out of the academy I saw him approaching me with another girl next to him. He explained that she was new and he was supposed to help her home. She lived on the same side of the city as us so it soon became regular for her to accompany us on our walks home. She was even more talkative than me and we soon became friends. Between the two of us, poor Arashi could never get a word in edgewise.

"One day, Arashi had to stay home from the academy because he was sick. I still met Ayame and we walked home together chatting nonstop and I somehow let slip my feelings for Arashi. I remember Ayame squealing in excitement as she told me how cute we would be together."

She paused once again to take a deep breath before continuing.

"From that day forward, when Arashi had joined us once again, I noticed her being uncommonly friendly with him. She forced him to talk and on the rare occasion that he would make a joke she laughed incessantly. She took any opportunity to touch him that she could possibly find. And the worst part was when I could see him gradually succumbing to her advances. She had long brown hair that she wore in a braid and these huge green eyes. She was beautiful and I knew that I could never compete with her. I realized that if I was ever going to tell Arashi how I felt, I needed to do it before he was too attached to Ayame.

"I don't remember much about the night that I told him how I felt about him. He didn't say he returned the feelings, but I never expected him to. He did agree to give a relationship a try though, and so the two of us began dating. Ayame backed off for a bit after that and it occurred to me that maybe she had done everything on purpose in order to encourage me to make a move. Arashi and I dated for four years, until we were both sixteen and I was very much in love with him."

Here she paused again and closed her eyes. There was no trace of her usual self anywhere, her face instead was painted with sorrow.

"The night I finally got the courage to tell him I loved him was the night that I found out he had been cheating on me with Ayame. They had been seeing each other secretly for the past three years. He almost looked sorry when he told me that he couldn't love me back because he had been in love with her almost since the beginning. Needless to say, my world was crushed. I had invested everything into our relationship. I was convinced that we would be together forever.

"But as hurt as I was, I still couldn't hate him. I had spent the better part of my life head over heels for him and I just couldn't bring myself to hate him. I put aside my own feelings and gave him my blessing to be with Ayame. It was painful to see the two of them together. Arashi showed emotions with her that I had never been able to pry out of him. It was clear that they were happy together and I began feeling guilty that I had come between them."

There was a scoff from the direction of the kitchen and we both jumped slightly, surprised to see Naomi leaning against the doorway, listening to Mizuki talk.

"I don't know why you let that jackass into your life. I told you over and over that he was bad news. Why couldn't you just listen to me?"

Despite her harsh words, a deep-rooted concern showed clearly on Naomi's face. Hearing Mizuki retell this story was almost as painful for Naomi and it was for Mizuki. It must have been torture for her to watch her friend go through all of that.

I was relieved when I heard Mizuki laugh.

"Well that's why I always listen to you now! I'd be lost without you."

Naomi only narrowed her eyes with a short "Hn" and walked back into the kitchen.

I turned back to the forgotten glasses on the bar in front of me and began to stack them to be placed on a shelf behind the bar.

"Listen Yuri, I know that my story seems awful and terribly tragic, but you have to believe me when I say that it really made me a better person. It forced me to grow in ways that I never thought I would. And it always helps to talk about this kind of thing with people who care."

The look she gave me said plainly that she knew I was hiding something. I didn't bother denying anything. She would know it was a lie.

I simply nodded. I hoped that someday I would have her strength. Someday I would be able to tell her my own story.

**So I was up this morning at 5:00 am thanks to a lovely nightmare and decided to go ahead and finish this. I want to get it out before I go to my next class so I didn't have time to proofread. I apologize for any and all grammatical and spelling errors. They are partly thanks to the rush and partly thanks to exhaustion. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the little insight into Mizuki. **

**Peace&Love**

**-Sil**


	8. A Letter

**I do not own Naruto or the song Near To You by A Fine Frenzy**

Sabaku No Gaara couldn't sleep. For anyone who knew anything about his past, this would seem like an obvious statement. He had spent the better half of his life forcing himself to remain conscious in order to control the bijuu sealed within him. But since Shukaku's removal, Temari and Kankuro had been encouraging the Kazekage to fight the self-inflicted insomnia and get in the habit of sleeping.

The first week of trying bore absolutely no results. From sunrise to sunset, Gaara would lie in bed with his eyes closed, waiting for the ever-elusive sleep to take hold of him. On the ninth night he managed to achieve a state of semi-unconsciousness for about an hour before the memory of a set of papers in desperate need of his signature drifted into his thoughts.

Finally, after two weeks of failed attempts and a particularly stressful day at work, the Kazekage was awarded with two and a half solid hours of sleep. Afterwards, he came to the conclusion that sleep was unnecessary.

As he lay awake at four o'clock waiting for the sun to rise so he could begin his day, he couldn't help but notice that those short hours of sleep had not relieved his perpetual state of exhaustion in the slightest. In fact, if it was possible, he felt even more tired.

At the urging of both his siblings and the council, he agreed to sleep at least one night a week. The rest, however, he continued to spend in his usual way. While the villagers all dreamt, the young leader of the Sand preferred spending his nighttime hours watching over his beloved village.

This had been one such night. After finishing up some mundane paperwork and doing his usual rounds through the streets of Suna, Gaara sat cross-legged on the roof of Kazekage Tower, waiting for the sun to rise.

This was the time he could relax and reflect, the time when his thoughts were most clear. Even when he was younger and his mind was still clouded with the bloodlust of Shukaku, those hours before the sunrise were always the calmest.

Back in those days he would have said that the calmness came from the satisfaction of knowing that he had survived another day, that he still existed.

Now he found his serenity in the knowledge that he had kept his village safe one more day and that he would continue to keep it safe as long as he lived.

He liked the silence the most. During the day, even when he was locked alone inside his office, he could still hear the hustle and bustle of everyday life in the streets far below. But now, as the sky's edges slowly turned from deep black to purple, not a soul stirred in the entire village. It seemed that even the wildlife was reluctant to disturb the blanket of stillness that settled over the village.

The sky was light enough now that the shadowy lumps around him were slowly beginning to form into solid, defined buildings. It wouldn't be much longer now.

Shifting to let his legs dangle over the side of the building, the Kazekage's thoughts turned to the village council.

He knew when he accepted the position how difficult it would be to prove himself to the villagers and the council. He knew good and well that he was only selected because of his power and his age.

The council had always been the true leader of Sunagakure with the Kazekage merely being a figurehead for the villagers. Gaara knew that in choosing such a young successor for the Fourth, the council was hoping to get merely a puppet to manipulate as they saw fit.

But in Gaara, they got more than they bargained for. He wanted to be more than just the front man for all of the council's decisions. He wanted to actually be a part of those decisions. His goal was to protect Suna and ensure its success and wellbeing, but he couldn't do that when the council worked behind closed doors.

The first time he requested to sit in on a meeting, the majority of the members blatantly laughed. He was just a boy. What could he possibly know about running a village?

The second time was shortly after returning from the Akatsuki attack. He had hoped that his sacrifice would help the council and villagers see how committed he was and the extent of his devotion. Mostly, it had. The villagers now adored him (perhaps some of them a little too much) and the council finally agreed to let him attend the meetings.

But despite that one success, he still wasn't satisfied. True, he now met twice a week with the council, but in those meetings he was little more than a bystander. His suggestions and contributions were always shot down with scorn before they were even considered.

He swung his legs lightly over the edge as he tried to formulate a plan.

His hopes were to eventually be able to work hand in hand with the council members, but unless he managed to change their opinions of him, that dream would never be achieved.

Kankuro's advice had been to wait it out.

"Just wait, in a couple years you'll start getting all frail and wrinkly, get some gray hairs on that head of yours and they won't even be able to tell the difference between you and one of those other old farts."

Gaara found this suggestion less than amusing.

He recognized that his age was largely the reason he wasn't being taken seriously, but he also knew that, despite his youth, he had the capability to make the necessary decisions to ensure the safety of Suna. He didn't think it right to be forced to wait twenty or thirty years to do so just because the council didn't think he was ready.

In some way, he had to gain their respect.

He turned his thoughts back to the site before him as the first rays of light burst over the horizon. He watched in silent contemplation as the buildings and desert around him were gradually illuminated with a soft orange glow.

Had he really once hated the site before him? Not so very long ago he had despised the entire village of Suna and all the people in it. Now he couldn't think of a more beautiful site in the world.

He continued watching the sun creep across the sky in silence until he felt a presence behind him.

"Kankuro," he greeted his brother, not bothering to turn around.

"I thought you might be up here. You've got another scroll from Konoha."

The puppeteer handed over the red scroll and unceremoniously dropped next to his brother as he unrolled the document and scanned its contents.

"Naruto again, huh?" Kankuro mused, seeing his brother's sigh. "What is that, the second one this week?"

"Third," Gaara quietly corrected. "He's just worried about his friend."

"Doesn't he realize that the Kazekage has more important things to do with his time than babysit some random girl? If he's so worried, he should come here and look after her himself instead of bothering you about it."

"Do you really want that?" he asked with a slight smirk, turning to look at his brother.

"No, I guess you're right," Kankuro laughed, shaking his head. "I know he's your friend and I appreciate everything that he's done for us. I don't even want to think about where we'd be now if he never came along. But you've got to admit that the kid is a magnet for trouble."

Gaara silently agreed, but said nothing. Instead he turned his eyes to the document on his lap once more.

It had been nearly a month since Sayuri Igawa had appeared in his office with Shikamaru Nara and requested to relocate to his village. In that time he had received a total of eleven letters from Naruto enquiring after her wellbeing.

After that first conversation on the street he began sending others to check up on her for him. He mostly sent his siblings when available, but occasionally he'd have to settle for a genin or chuunin or even his secretary.

They were never to approach her, simply to monitor her and make sure she seemed happy enough.

The Kazekage looked back down at the scroll, his eyes falling on the last lines.

_I know I can trust you to keep her safe._

_Your Friend,_

_Naruto_

Kankuro was right. Naruto had done more for him and his siblings than he could begin to describe. Maybe it was time to attempt to return the favor.

Maybe it was time to pay the girl another visit.

**Oh lord, I feel like just about the lousiest person on the planet. I go all summer doing next to nothing and then now, when it's almost over, I finally get around to pushing out the next chapter. **

**Well, the only feeble explanation I can give is some serious writers block. I actually had another chapter about halfway finished that centered on Sayuri but I realized that I didn't like where it was going at all so I scrapped it. Then I couldn't decide how to proceed from there until the song Loneliness from the Shippuden soundtrack popped up on my shuffle and it reminded me of the epic speech Gaara gives about becoming Kazekage and viola! It turned into this. **

**Anyway, I am super super sorry that it took so long. If anyone out there still cares about this story and wants to be nice to me (even though I've been terrible), please leave a review! Let me know how you're feeling about Gaara's personality. **

**I love you all!**

**Sil**


	9. A Wake Up Call

**Hello again you fine gentlefolk! Because was such a horrid person and took so very long to grind out that last chapter, I decided try and get this bad boy out as soon as I could. I actually had a version of it finished about a week ago but I decided to beef it up a bit because I'm that sorry. I didn't have time to proofread, so I apologize for any and all grammatical errors. **

**As always, I don't own Naruto or the song Near to You by A Fine Frenzy or any other lyrics that I may use in this story. **

* * *

Life seemed to be going by in an uneventful blur. Work was the only thing constant in my life, and since I didn't have to go in until evenings, I got every morning to myself.

My days usually began around noon. It was about this time that the sun would finally begin creeping over the east side of the building and through my bay windows, waking me up.

I'd drag myself out of bed and spend some time making myself presentable before finally emerging from my apartment.

I'd spend the few hours I had before work exploring Suna. I wanted to really get to know the new village. I was determined to learn to love it as much as I once loved Konoha. So I ventured out everyday, trying to find something that would make the village home to me.

After a few weeks I had yet to find it, but I refused to give up. There was still so much of the village that I hadn't yet seen. I was constantly finding little things that I really liked, such as the large water fountain centered in the courtyard of the shopping district that was always swarming with families, or the little playground across the street from her apartment where the neighborhood kids played. But none of that really made Suna feel like home.

I was woken one morning, not by the sun, but by a soft knock on my apartment door.

Groggily, I forced myself up to look at the clock on my nightstand. My sleep-addled brain could hardly comprehend the glowing numbers on the screen.

8:20

With a groan I dropped back onto my bed, only to hear another knock. I forced myself out of bed with a huge sigh and trudged to the door, ready to berate whoever had decided to wake me up at such an ungodly hour. I tore open the door, fire already spilling from my mouth.

"What the hell do you….oh."

My words died in my throat as my sluggish brain registered who was standing in front of me.

The Kazekage stood outside my apartment, hand poised, ready to knock again. I felt a blush blaze across my cheeks as I hurriedly began babbling.

"I am so sorry Kazekage-sama. I didn't realize…I feel awful. That was just rude of me. If I had known you were coming..."

I slowly drifted off as, with horror, I realized how terrible I looked.

To say that I'm not a morning person is an enormous understatement. I hadn't even bothered glancing in the mirror on my way to the door, but I had enough years of experience to know that it was undoubtedly a hideous sight.

The Kazekage said nothing. He simply stared at me, his expression blank with just a glimmer of curiosity in his eyes as he waited for me to finish my sentence.

"I-I…oh god. W-will you excuse me for just a minute?" I stammed, slowly backing towards my bedroom.

"Just a quick moment. Uh, please come in, make yourself at home," I managed to shout over my shoulder before dashing through the bedroom door.

I scurried over to the mirror, closing my eyes before I could see my reflection, almost afraid to look at what I would see. I slowly peeked out of one eye and let out a tremendous groan before stifling it, not wanting my guest to hear.

I had been right. I looked…well, there weren't really words to describe how horrifying I looked.

My hair, which I had pulled back in a high ponytail before falling into bed the previous night, had managed to pull itself halfway free of the restricting band. It now resembled some sort of black swamp monster in the process of consuming my head, with the exception of a one chunk, matted with what I could only assume was my own drool. The pillow lines streaking my face paired with the heavy bags under my eyes gave somewhat of an undead zombie look. The image was completed with a pair shorts and holey t-shirt also sporting drool spots.

In summation, I looked like a train wreck. I couldn't remember ever feeling as embarrassed as I did in that moment. But I knew that the Kazekage was still waiting outside in my living room (or at least I assumed he had come in) and I couldn't keep him waiting much longer.

I quickly ran into the small bathroom adjacent to my bedroom and washed my face before grabbing a brush and giving a valiant effort to tame my hair. After a few minutes I was finally able to run the brush through uninterrupted. I didn't bother styling it, instead I hurriedly returned to the wardrobe in my room and grabbed a set of cleans.

Once I was dressed I spared one glance in the mirror and, satisfied that I wasn't going to be able to do much better, exited my room.

The Kazekage was standing rather awkwardly next to one of the shabby kitchen chairs, staring at it with his arms crossed as if he couldn't decide whether or not he should sit.

"Please, sit down. Make yourself comfortable," I said with a smile, finding his indecision slightly comical.

He looked up at me briefly, arms dropping to his side, before nodding and hesitantly pulling the chair out to sit.

In an effort to regain the dignity that I had so completely lost, I decided to play the role of the indulgent hostess.

"I was just about to make myself some breakfast before you knocked," I lied, as I went to the refrigerator. "Can I get you anything?"

"No," the Kazekage murmured quietly, "Thank you, but I am fine."

A could feel a smile trying to fight its way up as I observed the Kazekage for a moment, before turning back to the refrigerator and grabbing two eggs and a couple of bread slices. Setting them down, I reached over and snatched the teakettle off the stove before filling it with enough water for four cups and returning to the burner.

A somewhat awkward silence settled over the apartment as I bustled around the small kitchen, preparing my meal under the watchful eye of the Kazekage. More than a few times, the urge to ask him why he was there bubbled to the surface, but each time, I forcefully shoved it back down. A good hostess would never ask such a thing.

Once the eggs were properly fried and the bread lightly toasted, I grabbed two plates and two cups from a cabinet, divvied up the meal between the two plates and filled the cups with the steaming tea.

Finally, I turned back to the Kazekage, the two plates in hand. I couldn't help but grin at his confused expression as I set a plate down in front of him and the other at the opposite end of the small table.

"I know you said you didn't need anything, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you've been awake much longer than I have so it's probably been a few hours since you ate last."

He didn't speak until after I'd set tea down as well when, with the cup halfway to his mouth he mumbles a soft 'thank you'.

I flashed what I hoped was a friendly smile before settling in my chair to enjoy my meal.

I couldn't help but notice a trend as we ate in silence as well. I had intended to breech the subject of his early morning intrusion over the breakfast, but upon seeing how hungrily he inhaled the egg, I decided to let the man eat in peace. Apparently my suspicion hadn't been too far off.

Once both plates were cleared, I gathered the dishes and dropped them unceremoniously in the sink before refilling the empty teacups.

I settled back down into my chair turned my gaze to the man across from me, hoping he would take it as a signal to start talking.

The Kazekage, however, seemed to be engrossed with some sight out the window just over my right shoulder, completely oblivious to the obvious anticipation on my face. It wasn't until I awkwardly cleared my throat that he seemed to remember where he was as his eyes slowly slid to me.

I almost immediately wished that he would go back to looking out the window as his gaze bore into me. There was simply curiosity, no anger or irritation in his look, nothing that should have put me as on edge as I was. But it was impossible to deny that those insanely brilliant eyes only added to his already impressive commanding presence.

"You have been well?"

As long as I had been waiting for him to start talking, I was caught off guard when he finally did. For a few seconds I could do no more than blink with my mouth slightly gaped.

"Last time we met, you were…struggling," he clarified, mistaking my shock for confusion. "I hope your situations have improved." The uncertainty in his voice made the statements seem more like questions.

"Oh, yes!" I was finally able to reply. But, much like a broken damn, once the words started pouring from my mouth, they rushed out like a tidal wave. "Yeah, I'm doing much better. Really starting to settle in here. I'm working a lot, which is good because it keeps me busy but it can get pretty exhausting too. But I'm sure you know how that goes. There are nights that I barely think I'll be able to make it back to the apartment, I'm so exhausted. And then I spend the rest of my free time out around the city so I feel like I never get to see my apartment. I can't even imagine how time consuming your job must be, Kazekage-sama. I mean, you're the Kazekage, after all! You basically run this entire village. I bet you sleep so well at night, you must always just be so exhausted after all that work…"

I finally drifted off when I noticed the small smirk on my guest's face. My cheeks almost immediately flooded with what I'm sure was a magnificent shade of crimson as I let out a nervous laugh, my eyes flying to the hands resting on my lap.

"I'm so sorry. I'm just tired. I kind of tend to…ramble when I'm tired."

I attempted a nonchalant shrug in order to lessen my embarrassment, but it ended up turning into more of a grimace.

"I am not offended by your…rambling," Gaara quietly clarified. "I was simply amused by your notion that sleep comes easy to me."

My curiosity was peeked so I simply tilted my head slightly with a surprised look, hoping he would take it as a signal to elaborate.

Unsurprisingly, he did not. He simply continued staring at me with that same smirk, almost as if he was laughing at his own private joke.

"Sleep doesn't come easy for you?" I finally asked after a minute of shifting uncomfortably under his gaze.

"It does not," was his short reply.

"_So much for starting a conversation," _I thought to myself as we drifted into yet another silence.

I was just about to give some excuse about needing to run errands before work, when he suddenly continued talking as if he had never stopped.

"For the first fifteen years of my life I was unable to sleep due to Shukaku. Such was his cunning that I feared if I were to let myself become unconscious, he would eat away at me until he could break free. With the exception of the few times I lost control of myself and allowed Shukaku to take control, I forced myself to remain awake. After Shukaku was extracted my siblings began urging me to sleep regularly. But, as you might imagine, it is difficult to break a habit of over fifteen years."

I was shocked and somewhat awestruck with the Kazekage's honesty. He had shared more than I could have possibly hoped for and I was at a complete loss for words. I opened my mouth to comment, but then closed it again, not knowing what to say.

Another uncomfortable silence stretched over us, but this time it was completely my own fault. When someone shares such personal information, how could I possibly reply?

But then I recalled a story that Naruto had told me about one of his early confrontations with Gaara. When he and Shikamaru had caught the homicidal boy in Lee's hospital room after their brutal fight. Caught in Shikamaru's Shadow Possession Jutsu, Gaara had practically relayed his entire life story out to the two strangers.

I couldn't help but wonder if he had some type of mental disability that prevented him from knowing what was and wasn't socially appropriate to share with strangers. But then I remembered that, much like Naruto, Gaara had been alone for almost his entire life. Because of his father's greed and cruelty, Gaara had been forced to miss out on every single childhood experience that almost every kid sees.

He never had friends to talk to and judging from what Naruto said about his relationship with his siblings, there wasn't much of a chance that he would talk to them either.

Maybe now that those who had previously hated and scorned him so much were finally accepting him, he was taking advantage of it. I couldn't deny that, if I had gone most of my life with no one to talk to, I would undoubtedly cling on to any opportunity to make new friends.

As I was having my epiphany, Gaara returned to looking out the window behind me, giving me a chance to look him over.

As uncomfortable as I had been for the majority of our little visit, he had seemed perfectly at ease. He sat motionless in the rickety chair, back straight and tall but with an unmistakably relaxed air. He seemed almost serene as he gazed out my kitchen window, unconcerned that our silence was approaching a solid five minutes.

His composure was infectious and, after a few more moments of observing him, I too relaxed into the silence, taking a sip of my forgotten tea in an attempt to hide the smile taking over my face.

I was shocked when he was the one to break the silence, shifting a bit in his chair before smoothly rising to his feet.

"I must return to my office," he explained as I too scurried out of my chair. "Thank you for the meal. It was quite pleasing."

My newfound serenity gave me confidence as I walked him to the door, smiling, as I said, "No problem at all. You're welcome to swing by anytime you feel the slightest bit hungry."

The Kazekage only nodded, his eyes sweeping my face one final time before opening the door and walking out.

As I closed the door behind him, I couldn't help but wonder if I had actually managed to befriend the Kazekage of the Sand.

* * *

**So...let me know what you think about encounter numero dos. Any and all feedback would be so very welcome! I know that I'm kind of going against the norm by having Gaara be the one who has everything figured out, but just going off of what little we've seen of him in Shippuden, I imagine that he went through an insanely huge change during the time skip and has now reached the point where he's finally comfortable in his skin. But that's just me and I'm always curious to hear what others think, so go ahead and leave a review! Or don't. It's your choice really. **

**...please do. **


	10. Suspicions

**I do not own Naruto or the song Near to You by A Fine Frenzy. **

After the Kazekage left my apartment, I went about my usual routine on autopilot, barely registering where I was going or what I was doing. I could almost have believed that the visit was nothing more than a bizarre and abnormally realistic dream had it not been for the two plates I encountered stacked in my sink the next morning when I got around to doing dishes.

The next night at work I decided to casually let my visit with Gaara slip in front of Mizuki, with the hope that she would confirm how non-extraordinary such encounters were. This would then, hopefully, smother my sense that the Kazekage was actually making an effort to befriend me.

Her reaction, however, was not quite what I expected. The last of the customers had left and Mizuki and I were quietly cleaning for the night before heading home. Naomi could be heard slamming around in the kitchen going off on what I could only assume was some innocent pot or pan she felt had wronged her in some way. Over the weeks, this had turned into a regular, comfortable scene. And while I was reluctant to disturb the calm, my curiosity forced my tongue into action.

"Does the Kazekage often make house calls to check in on the new citizens?" I nonchalantly asked, shattering the almost silence. I made sure to keep my eyes glued to the act of sweeping the floor, but out of my peripheral I could see my boss pause and look up from the glass she was drying, eyes wide in alarm.

"Never," she laughed shortly, setting down the glass and leaning against the counter in front of her. "At least, not that I know of. Gaara-sama isn't exactly a social being. I couldn't even imagine him trying to be hospitable." There was a short pause as her head tilted slightly to the side and I could plainly see her trying to picture it. After a few seconds she shook her head, smiling broadly.

"Nope. That's just not a pretty picture at all," she giggled, causing me to wonder just what image of the Kazekage being "hospitable" her imagination had conjured up.

But much to my chagrin, Mizuki's amusement rapidly changed to suspicion as she turned her narrowed eyes to me.

"Now _why_ would you ask such a thing?" she wondered aloud, trying too hard to sound innocent.

In an effort to maintain my casual façade, I shrugged lightly and mumbled something vague about curiosity.

There was a stretch of silence and I immediately began to feel nervous. I have always been a horrible liar. I knew it. Mizuki knew it. Almost everyone I ever tried to lie to knows it. So naturally, I had expected her to see through my lie. And since Mizuki is not the type of person to let a topic such as this drop without gleaning every possibly detail, I was shocked and slightly worried when I finally looked up to find her staring straight at me, eyes still narrowed and gears clearly at work.

And then it all seemed to click as she gasped slightly and slammed her palms flat on the bar as if to steady herself from falling over.

"Wait. Hold on one minute. You're telling me that the Kazekage actually visited _you_?"

"No," I stated casually, returning to my sweeping. "_You're_ saying that. I just asked a question and you made the assumption."

"Aha! But you're not denying it, are you? That's because it's true!" The grin that was splitting her face, coupled with the excited gleam in her eyes was starting to give her a partially deranged look. "I can't believe the Kazekage was actually in your apartment. I mean, _you_. A _girl_. Not that he probably even notices that you're a girl but still, this is certainly a momentous occasion. I didn't think he even had the ability to converse with other people unless forced. I mean really, I have loads of respect for the guy but, seriously, he needs to get out more."

I shook my head in confusion, not quite understanding why the other girl was so excited.

"I don't understand. I know he isn't the most talkative person, but surely he isn't a complete recluse. He's got to have _some_ social skills. I doubt he would have been made Kazekage if he didn't."

Mizuki just shook her head, almost as if she pitied me for my lack of knowledge.

"Look," she explained slowly, as if she was talking to a small child, "Suna isn't like Konoha. Back in your Leaf Village they're all about peace and diplomacy. They don't pick fights and they avoid confrontation, so naturally, the leader would have to be someone who can easily talk his or, as it were, _her_ way out of sticky situations. Suna has never been like that. Until recently, we could never dream of calling ourselves a peaceful country. We'd always very much been a war-oriented society. Because of this, our view of a good leader is whoever carries the biggest stick, so to speak."

I took a moment to think about what she had said. In Konoha, the Hokage was always a powerful shinobi. But it was true that power wasn't the only thing considered. If it were, Orochimaru would have quite possibly been made the Fourth Hokage in the place of Minato Namikaze. The idea made me shiver slightly and I suppressed the thought, turning instead to Suna. It seemed logical that for a military-based village, Gaara would be the obvious choice for a leader. From what I'd heard, that sand of his could pack quite the punch.

Which meant that it was quite possible, even probable that he really didn't have any hidden social talents that I was just overlooking.

"So," I began slowly, forcing my way through the question, "for him to visit me in my apartment would be considered…strange?"

"Definitely," my boss confirmed with a short nod, a brief smile fluttering across her expression. "You must have done something to catch that eye of his." For a brief second her smile twisted into an uncharacteristically venomous smirk as she added, "The adoring masses are going to _love_ this."

I didn't make an effort to ask what she meant, content that my question had been answered, but troubled by the answer I had received.

I couldn't exactly pinpoint why the thought of a friendship with the Sand's leader troubled me. He had been nothing but kind to me since my arrival, and his allowing me to stay in the first place was nothing short of saintly. Despite his troubled youth, it appeared that, much like Naruto, he had become a stable and respectable man.

But perhaps this similarity to my best friend from Konoha is what made me reluctant. I love Naruto, but I would be lying if I said that he wasn't one of my reasons for leaving Konoha. I had wanted to move on with my life, forget the past and all of the painful memories it held. This task was made nearly impossible with people like Naruto and my mother constantly hovering over me, waiting, expecting me to break at the slightest reminder like some frail doll.

I didn't want the Kazekage thinking that he needed to fill that role. I didn't want _anyone_ to fill in that role. I wanted everyone to see that I was capable of taking care of myself without their constant hovering and meddling.

Which is exactly why I found myself determinedly marching up to who I later learned to be the Kazekage's older brother, the next day in the market.

I had been making my usual rounds, stopping at the now familiar stalls to pick up the goods to get me through the next week, when I first noticed the strange looking man lurking across the street.

With his easily identifiable, black hooded outfit, I should have known the man immediately. But, unlike his younger brother, I had never seen Kankuro more than a time or two in passing and never had a reason to remember him. But there was still something vaguely familiar about him and it continued to tug at the back of my mind as I went on with my shopping.

It wasn't until I had moved through four more stalls that I realized he was following me. While I stopped to peruse one vendor's selection of apples, I couldn't help but notice the hooded man stop to examine a table covered in beautiful silk wraps, directly across from me. Thinking back, it occurred to me that he had remained parallel to me for at least the past fifteen minutes.

Wanting to test my theory while appearing to remain unaware, I proceeded to the next stall, not unaware of the fact that the man also moved. Halfway between, I stopped with the pretense of adjusting my bags and glanced over to find that my mysterious stalker had also stopped and was currently kneeling down, seemingly adjusting the straps on his sandals.

Had he been following me at night while I was on my way home from work or some place far from civilization, I never would have dreamt of approaching him. But the bustling market was swarming with shop owners and other customers, making me confident that the man would not try anything dangerous.

I could feel suspicion and anger building up in me as I made my way across the street, entirely prepared to lecture the stranger on the indecency of stalking a poor, innocent girl as she made her way through the market.

However, noticing my approach, the man straightened with a small smile and spoke, effectively preventing the commencement of my rant.

"So you've finally noticed me, have you? It took you long enough."

**Mmk, well I know that this one is shorter than my last few chapters, but I kind of wanted the conversation with Kankuro to be its own chapter. I will sincerely try my darndest to get that completed within the next week or two, but with work and this lovely cold I am frantically trying to overcome, I make no promises. **


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